Thursday, January 9, 2014

Sometimes the pain of motherhood seems too much to bear.  Seeing your children in pain is such an awful, gut-wrenching feeling.  It's a pain you will try to do anything to shed, but at some point you realize no one, not even your spouse can take it away for you. 

I think of mothers in distant lands holding their dying babies and my burdens pale compared to theirs.  But the pain is the same.  My older daughter almost died right in front of me.  I thought that experience would guarantee that no more pain would come my way, but I was wrong.  Now my baby has been having unexplained seizures and it has brought back so much of the fear and what ifs after my first born almost died. 

 It's at these times that I have to turn to God and whisper little prayers of help.  Help me make it through this, help me not freak out!  I tell myself over and over the Robert Frost line, " The only way out is through."  I just have to make it through this pain even if what's on the other side is not what I expected.  

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