Thursday, July 17, 2014

My oldest Selah, who is ten has been doing way more than her share around here lately.  I know it weighs on her heavy some days and I worry for her. How is growing up in all this going to affect her? I find myself many times barking orders at her to help around the house rather than having fun like before.   I am sure that constantly hearing, no we can't do that or go there, the baby might have a seizure, gets old.  The thing is no one tells you when you have special needs child how to take care of your other kids.  It's just something you have to sort of figure out within your own little family. My four year old seems to be oblivious to the way Paloma gets so much attention.  Some days I don't know how to do it, how to be there emotionally and physically for all of them.  But I am beyond thankful for my first born being here.  She is resilient and compassionate.  She has faced her own near death and come out on the other side.  Maybe she will be alright in all this.  Maybe it will make her stronger in ways that I never imagined.

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