Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Uggggg...... It gets so hard to not loose hope sometimes.  I try to not let seizures completely destroy me, but I am not there yet.  It seems like every time we are in a good pattern boom a big one comes and knocks us on our butts, which was the case this past weekend.  We have been having an increase in what I believe are absent seizures but they were stopping with Eucalyptus and Frankincense oil and they were short and did not seem to make Paloma irritable.  Then on Sunday morning after a rough week of very little sleep for all of us she had a big one that resulted in us giving the max dose of rescue meds.  When that didn't help we called 911.  It eventually stopped on it's own so we declined transport to the hospital. It's funny and sad that when the paramedics arrive and ask how long the seizure lasted and you say 25-30 minutes they freak out and dont understand why we wouldn't want to go to the hospital. This is the state of our lives. 

 I feel like I am doing everything humanly possible to prevent these seizures and its not enough.  I pray everyday. I pray for healing and restoration, the same thing I prayed for Selah.  I pray that God would help me figure out how to heal her and what her triggers are.  Have you ever lost something really special like a wedding ring?  I have and it drives you absolutely crazy until you can find it.  That's how I feel.  All I do is read and research and try to make the connection between seizures and triggers.  I'm obsessed, which is probably not healthy but it's all I can do right now.  The alternative is I stop and follow the advice of the neurologist, who has already started on us about adding more meds to the two meds she is already on.  I have to believe that we are on the right path and that it will be worth it one day. 

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