Here's to a new year...

Sunday, January 4, 2015

I've guess I've broken the cardinal rule of blogging. Instead of sticking to one subject and writing about it well I've rambled all over the place. Who in their right mind wants to read about seizures, mental breakdowns and my faith crisis? I don't think much about who, if anyone is reading this. If anyone reads my ramblings and finds comfort, or a sense that maybe they arn't all alone with their thoughts then it's worth it. 

I've had a couple of people reach out to me after my last post out of concern and love. I understand, I do.  I don't know where my faith will take me this next year but I do know that it cannot exist as it has any longer.  I'm not scared.  I welcome the change however hard it may be.  

I'm glad to see 2014 go.  It almost sucked me dry, but it didn't.  I'm still here existing, but barely living.  I'm not in a hopeful fog anymore when it comes to seizures.  I'm not going to wish for a life of less seizures this coming year.  I'm going to carry on.  I'm going to stop trying to numb myself with drunkenness, bad t.v. and junk food.  It doesn't help me with the living thing, only existing and I'm tired of just existing.  I'm going to try and take it all in as a blessing.  Easier said than done I know.  

“I can, with one eye squinted, take it all as a blessing.”
― Flannery O'Connor

Paloma passed out after a lot of Valium and CBD after a big seizure this morning.  She insists on wearing this outfit at all times. 

1 comment:

  1. There are no rules in blogging! LOL. Happy New Year Friend!