measuring life from one seizure to the next...

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

It's been three weeks since starting high CBD oil with Paloma.  The first two weeks she was sick so I couldn't really grasp what effect it was having.  Her poor immune system is pitiful.  I feel like she is always sick.  Those two weeks resulted in an increase of seizures and we got to try out our 911 service since moving in our new house.  It was surprisingly fast. However, I was pissed because they didn't let me ride along so I had to race down the street to the hospital and I almost hit a pedestrian in my panic.  But I made it and so did she.  

This third week she has been seizure free.  That rarely happens.  I try and relish in it. The sun seems to shine a little brighter and her laugh seems louder when seizures aren't present. But they are always lurking around the corner.  I can't fully relax or feel happy about her seizure free week because I know just as easily I could be calling 911 again any moment. At night I lay awake beside her scared to close my eyes because it could happen at any moment. But that's my life.  That's many peoples lives as I've found out this past year. So many of us parents seem to measure life from one seizure to the next.  I'm sure some would argue that's a negative way to live.  But last week was shitty and this week is sunny and I'm over the moon.  Next week might be even worse but the sun is always around the corner.  I just have to keep remembering that. 

1 comment:

  1. The sun is ALWAYS lurking behind the clouds. Praise the Lord for breaks.