No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross...

Thursday, February 19, 2015

One of my favorite musicians Sufjan Stevens gave a rare interview recently.  He happens to be a self professed Christian but he has prefered in the past to not talk about it publicly.  He didn't want to be labeled as a Christian artist, which I totally respect and get.  Most Christian music is garbage. His music is hauntingly, beautiful and deals with subjects no Christian radio artist would ever touch.   So in this recent interview he talked about his relationship with God, which I was glad to see since I'm on the verge of flat out calling myself an atheist these days. He said,  

"I still describe myself as a Christian, and my love of God and my relationship with God is fundamental, but its manifestations in my life and the practices of it are constantly changing. I find incredible freedom in my faith. Yes, the kingdom of Christianity and the Church has been one of the most destructive forces in history, and there are levels of bastardization of religious beliefs. But the unique thing about Christianity is that it is so amorphous and not reductive to culture or place or anything. It's extremely malleable." 

I found what he said refreshing to my soul.  Yes!  My faith is constantly changing and reforming.  I'm thankful for the freedom to grow and question things and maybe do things a little differently than the mainstream evangelical church would allow. I certainly am not he same person who was first baptized 10 years ago. 

The comments on this interview were disgusting and remind me of one of the biggest problems I have with Christianity.  One of the commenters said he was thrilled to read Sufjan was still a Christian and he even did a fist bump until he got to the part he didn't like and decided Sufjan's definition of Christian was not like his own and therefor he is a heretic and automatically wrong. 

Why can't we all agree no one really knows all the answers when it comes to Christianity? Because I say I love gay people, you throw scripture in my face and say I'm wrong, I'm misinformed. I don't have the right version.  I'm kicked out of the club.

Can't we agree that we are all just fucking grasping for truth and move on in love.  Maybe when I get to heaven there will be God hates fag signs and they'll serve Chik Fil A but I really hope not.  

I hate how the church makes outcasts out of anyone that might interpret the bible a little differently than they allow.  It's enough to make me want to wash my hands of the whole thing forever.  

 

8 comments:

  1. I'm not grasping for truth. My truth is in God and His Word aka The Bible. It's in the Holy Spirit inside me. And it's in trying to mirror Jesus' walk on earth. It's so freeing too! I'm still praying you feel the freedom and happiness I experience. Miss you friend.

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  2. I am truly happy that you have that Shanee. I say that honestly. For the longest time I would beat myself up and think why can't you get your shit together and be like the rest of these people. Everyone else in church was always so sure of everything. For now in this place I'm in I'm ok with having lots of questions and doubts and knowing that I don't have it all figured out and that's ok and God loves me anyway despite my doubts and questions.

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  3. Thank you for sharing. I can totally relate to that feeling of beating yourself up. Sometimes it seems like my experience doesn't match up with what it should be. When my head is straight I remember that my individual journey is valid and I'm not called to be a carbon copy of anybody.

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  5. I'm sorry that you feel like everyone in the church has it all together, but we don't. We are all sinners, fallible humans with shortcomings and weaknesses. I am thankful for the new beginning that I am given with the start of another day. I hurt for you that you feel that you only feel that you're freedom to question and explore your faith is outside the Church (not as a physical place but as a spiritual group where we are built up/encouraged and grow with other believers) There are many authors, of the "mainstream evangelical" kind, who encourage us as believers and children of God to explore our faith in him further...to question what we believe and why...but also, to know that God is God and we are not. We are not hear to judge, but to love on others. I know that many feel "Christians" are hypocritical in their speak of love and acceptance...but again, judging those who are fully loving/accepting as God would want us, is in fact doing what they are. Rejecting God for the small amount who misrepresent him is missing the freedom only He can give. Much love to you dear friend! Walking alongside you.

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  6. Thank you for your words! It's not so much that I thought everyone had it all together. I understand that we are all totally messed up sinners and that no one has it together. I was speaking more of those who are absolutely sure what they believe on issues such as homosexuality, women being pastors etc. These are issues that I have struggled with and definitely have felt that in mainstream Christianity there was no dialogue whatsoever on certain issues. The point of my post was really more about Sufjan than anything. I just hate how if any Christian has differing opinions they are ostracized. I'm not rejecting God just looking for different way to connect. I can no longer keep trying to fit myself into the box of mainstream evangelical Christianity. There are many that feel the same way which is why I choose to keep writing about it.

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  7. For what it's worth I totally struggle with those issues too and I'm sure some others that we have in common.

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  8. i think we can all agree though, that 50 shades of grey is from the devil.... JRR

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