Fall

Saturday, October 10, 2015

The past three months have been hard. Almost as hard as those first few months when seizures began.  We started the keto diet in hopes it would help get through the keppra wean.  It caused severe insomnia so this weekend I decided enough was enough after almost falling asleep driving the older ones to school.  This weekend as we've transitioned back to a modified keto diet with more carbs and less fat, Paloma has had several seizures.  I can't help but feel guilty watching her seize thinking it's my fault because I couldn't deal with the insomnia.  This journey never seems to get any easier.  I never know if I'm making the right decisions.

For my magazine writing class I had to submit an article for publication to a magazine of my choosing. I chose The Sun.  My Hemingway loving professor ripped my essay to shreds and cut 600 words. "To wordy" he said.  I happen to like words. I don't think it stands a chance for publication.  To much telling and not enough showing but I'm glad I finally sent something out and I have learned a lot in my class so far. I wanted to learn the technical side of writing. I have the passion and ideas but if what I write doesn't come off with clarity and wisdom I know it will be never be anything more than narcissistic ramblings. 

I've always loved fall. I'm trying to enjoy it despite the exhaustion and hopelessness I've felt lately.  This was two years ago. Right before the first seizure.  Before things got hard.  I enjoyed it fully. I must have known something was coming. 


1 comment:

  1. You are doing the right thing. I love you JRR

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